The Explorers of What Now?
by thekyuubivixen
Summary: "What do you think this is, Gary?" Ash adjusted his slightly crooked hat between his yellow pointed ears. Gary stared at the fragmented rock, the white fur around his neck flowing in the sea breeze. "Looks like a lonely kid, with way too much time on his hands, got chalk happy." This is Explorers of Sky...Ash and Gary edition! Yep, you read that right!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey! This is a story that literally just popped up out of nowhere XD. Alright, no need for a lengthy introduction, let the fic begin!**

* * *

"Stupid Ash..." Gary grumbled lowly as he made his way through the woods neighboring Pallet Town, searching for his friend, no, rival. He was forced to, by the way, by his granddad because he was the one to make Ash red as a tomato before storming out of the lab. "All I said was for him to fucking grow a pair and ask that red-head out before I did. What's the big deal about that?"

He ducked under a low hanging branch, his dark eyes searching the trees for Ash's iconic red hat. Granted...It could have been what he said after that. "'Because if I did, she'll forget your pansy ass.' Tch, Ash is eighteen for crying out loud." Gary sighed as he traversed around tree trunks. "Only he would be-" The auburn-haired teen paused mid-step when he saw Ash a bit of a distance away, his back to him.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Gary closed the distance between them two with a sneer on his face. "So you just run away, Ashy-boy? Is that what you...Holy shit." When Oak reached the raven, his eyes automatically zeroed in on the gaping hole in front of them that seemed to drop forever in a pitch-black abyss. Gary immediately took a step - more like a giant leap - backwards. "What in the hell is this?"

Ash, clearly over his little drama queen episode, shrugged as his brown eyes scanned the deformity. "I dunno..." He squatted down to get a closer look and Gary had to resist punching him in the back of his head. Because this guy had lost his goddamn mind. "Wait, I think I see a light down there!" Ash pointed into to the hole with one arm and waved Gary over with the other one.

"Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. I'm sure Gramps would love sending out a search party too."

Gary saw the hint of a grin on the other's face. Ash chuckled. "You're such a pussy."

Gary's glare should have made the surrounding trees combust. But after a second, he shrugged it off, "Hey, you are what you eat."

"Arceus..." Ash shook his head in exasperation. "Dude, just come over here." Then the grin was back. "Fucking grow a pair."

Gary scowled and muttered under his breath, "Using _my_ own damn words..." Not thinking of a worthy enough comeback, the older teen made his way - carefully, mind you - to the edge of the hole where Ash was still squatting. "Hurry up and show me so we can then be like _normal_ people and move away from the entrance to Hell."

Ash nudged Gary with his elbow and the latter nearly had an aneurysm. "Jeez, Gary, calm down! We're perfectly safe here!" The raven patted the ground underneath them with a smile on his face. "See? It's firm! No problem!"

"That's what she said."

"I hate you so much."

"The feeling's mutual."

"ANYWAY!" Ash turned his attention from Gary and back to the hole. "If you look closely, you can see some light. Do you see it?"

"Mhm, sure."

Ash glanced over to see Gary cleaning dirt from under his nails. What? He had clumsily tripped over a root on the way here. Thank goodness the fall didn't mess up his expensive clothes, but the grains under his nails were annoying as hell.

"Dammit Gary, you're not even looking!"

Said teen paused in what he was doing to raise a brown brow. "And?"

Ash fumed for a moment before a sly smile appeared on his face. Gary suddenly grew nervous. "And...if you don't, I'll tell Professor Oak that you were looking up things on his computer. Things not exactly G-rated, if you catch my drift."

"You. Wouldn't. Fucking. Dare." Gary growled out every word, but the intimidation wasn't effective because of the faint pink flush on his cheeks.

Ash smiled cheekily. "Try me," he nearly singsonged.

Muttering death threats, Gary leaned over the edge of the hole marginally and gazed down into the endless darkness. He pushed back his acrophobia and ignored how the world started to sway a bit. Wait a second...Ashy-boy was right. There was a tiny pinprick of light down there. Wonder what that could be. Could be an abandoned mineshaft or something like-

At that moment, Gary lost his balance.

Oak's stomach dropped and his heart jumped up to his throat as he felt himself leaning forward uncontrollably. He flailed his arms wildly, swearing to himself that he was going to haunt Ash even as the raven _shat._

Gary shouted as he went over the edge until a hand grabbed his wrist, abruptly stopping his incredibly fatal drop. Glancing up, he saw Ash still squatting, but his other hand was wrapped around a hanging vine. Black irises glared up at browns.

Ash gritted his teeth, straining with Gary's weight. "You're welcome, asshole."

"If you can't see, I'm still _dangling_ here."

"Just wait a sec," Ash panted. "This vine should be strong enough to-"

At that very moment, the vine snapped.

And Ash tumbled in not a second afterwards. The last words that echoed through the hole were:

"You fucking jinxed us dammit!"

"You shouldn't have leaned over the edge so much!"

"You shouldn't have came out here and found the hole in the first place!"

"You're the one who made me leave the lab, bastard!"

A beat.

"...Point taken."

Their yells promptly resumed again.

* * *

"-ry...Gary!"

Ugh...Why was Ash yelling? His voice was like if a whole room full of people were rubbing Styrofoam together.

His body was then very harshly kicked. "Wake up!"

Jerking out of his sleep-like state, Gary flew his eyes open and tackled the closest thing to him to the ground. "What in the hell was that for?" He scowled out, glaring down at the surprised Pikachu with slightly shaggy hair and a red...cap...

Gary blinked as he slowly backed up off the pokémon. He shook his head slightly. He had to have some mad drugs recently if he was seeing a Pikachu that looked _very _similar to Ash. When Gary lifted his arm to run a hand through his hair, he was in for a shock when his 'hand' was a brown paw. Shocked, Gary placed his paw back on the sandy ground before standing up, noticing that he stood on _four_ legs, and had the feeling of an extra appendage sprouting from his ass. And unless he was tripping _real_ hard right now, he definitely never had that before.

Gary walked in a slow circle, beady eyes wide as he saw himself move in a very familiar Eevee body. "What the actual-"

"Fuck?" He snapped his head up to see the Pikachu that had Ash's voice fiddling with his bolt-like tail. "That's exactly what I said when I woke up!"

"This isn't real..." Gary sat down on his haunches, looking unseeingly to the sand. "You can't be Ash...I can't be an Eevee!"

The Pikachu scratched the back of his head. "I don't really believe it either! But I'm really Ash. Just in a Pikachu body..."

Gary glanced up to see the Pika-_Ash_ rubbing his red cheeks, creating the occasional spark. What in the world...Gary was more confused now than he was when he saw a Bagon try to take flight. Off a cliff. Multiple miles up.

With a troubled sigh, the former researcher/trainer shifted his focus from his rival to their surroundings. He was soon filled with awe when the colors of the sunset reflected off bubbles that were drifting with the wind. Looking behind him, Gary saw multiple Krabby up high on rocks blowing the translucent spheres. Gary wouldn't actually mind being here, you know, if he wasn't stuck in an Eevee's body! He wanted to change back, as soon as humanly possible. Well shit, now that phrase didn't make any freaking sense.

"Hey Gary, do you have any idea how to get back?"

He gave Ash a level stare. "Sure I do. Let's just find another hole a million miles deep and jump into that. Should be fucking easy, right?"

The former raven crossed his stubby arms and puffed his static filled cheeks. "Shut the hell up. It was just a simple question that-" Ash trailed off as he focused on something to the side. Gary followed his gaze to the edge of the shore to see a rock with white lines all over it. "Whoa..." He started to move somewhat awkwardly on two feet before switching to four, running over to the shallow water. Ash stood back up and peered at the broken piece of land. "What do you think this is, Gary?" Ash adjusted his slightly crooked hat between his yellow ears.

Oak trotted over to where Ash was, gotten used to being on four legs, and stood beside him, paws halfway submerged in the salty ocean. Gary stared at the fragmented rock, the white fur around his neck flowing in the sea breeze. "Looks like a lonely kid, with _way_ too much time on his hands, got chalk happy." He was about to take a step forward to get a better look, but then something hit him hard from the behind, sending Gary flipping into slightly deeper water. Gah! He just swallowed a mouthful and it tasted like straight up piss.

"Well, I do beg your pardon, Miss." Coughing, Gary quickly got back on his feet and glared at both the Koffing that was smirking at him and the Zubat with its fangs holding onto the rock they found.

Hearing electricity, the Eevee gave the Pikachu a shifted glance as he glared at the two newcomers also. "Why in the hell did you do that?"

"Heh-heh-heh! Can't figure it out?" Goddammit. Now Gary was going to have to strain to even understand what the bat was saying. "We wanted to mess with you! Can't face up to us, can you?!"

Ash looked at Zubat oddly. "The fuck?"

"This is yours, ain't it?"

"Actually, we just found it-"

"Doesn't matter, kiddo. It's ours now!"

"Whoa-ho-ho! Not gonna make a move to get it back?" The Koffing bellowed.

The static grew louder. "Alright, bastards, I really didn't care at first if you two took it, because we just found the piece of junk. But now that you're rubbing it in our faces...Here's lightning in your FACE!" Ash sent a thundershock their way and they barely dodged it.

"Ack!" Zubat gasped.

"Let's get outta here!" Koffing suggested and the duo fled into the nearby cave in the rock face. "Try to get it back now, losers!" The poisonous duo disappeared inside. Ash and Gary stared after them until the latter smirked.

"I'm guessing we're going after them."

"Hell yeah!"

The Eevee waded out of the water until a sudden thought tensed his muscles and hit him like a ton of bricks.

_"MISS?!"_

* * *

**Lol, should I continue?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh, I forgot to say this the first chapter, but I don't own any pokemon characters.**

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Ash froze for a second at Gary's loud outburst before doubling over in laughter. Gary scowled at the yellow one's irritating guffaws as he stepped out of the sea water and shook himself off, droplets of water spraying everywhere. "What the hell?" Oak angrily grumbled to himself as he approached Ash who was now rolling around in the sand, tears leaking from his eyes as his annoying voice filled the air. "Was that floating ball of fart was that goddamn blind that he couldn't tell that I am a goddamn _male_?" Making it over to the Pikachu, the Eevee frowned down at the one who was overly enjoying his embarrassment before stepping harshly on his yellow tail. Gary continued on to the cave entrance like nothing happened.

"Ack!" Ash interrupted his own laughter and sat up, rubbing his tail gently while glaring at Gary's back. "You're such a fucking bastard!"

"Tell me something I don't know." The former brunette called over his shoulder as he went on, leaving paw prints in the sand. Gary glanced behind him to see Ash still nursing his hurt appendage. He rolled his eyes. "Stop being a baby and get your ass over here. We've got two thieves to teach lessons to."

With a huff, Ash picked himself off the ground before trotting over to Gary. "Tch, what if I decided to bite your tail, huh? You wouldn't be callin me a baby anymore."

Oak glanced askance over at his rival as he caught up to him. "If you fucking try, I will shove my foot so far up your ass that you'll be coughing out fur."

Ash, now on two legs, waved the other off as he peered into the seemingly wide cave in which the room was illuminated by the sunlight filtering in from the outside. "Yeah yeah, empty threats..." He took a couple steps inside the opening, observing the new surroundings. "But dude...seriously check this out! I've never seen a cave like this before!"

* * *

**Beach Cave**

**B1F**

* * *

Still standing between the threshold of outside and in, Gary scanned the spacious room and silently agreed with Ash. No cave he had ever went into had pure blue walls. He would've took plenty of pics if he did. The Eevee went forward and as soon as he did, the wall behind him silently closed, not giving him anytime to make a run for it. "Holy Arceus!" Gary vaguely noticed that the room stayed lit up even though the cave's source of light was cut off.

He heard a sheepish chuckle. "Heh, sorry. I let one loose."

Furrowing his brow, Gary returned his attention to Ash. "What in the hell are you-" A _very_ foul odor then smacked him in the face with a brick. "Shit!" Gary covered his nose with a paw. "What the fuck was that!?"

"Pretty sure it was that burrito I ate for dinner. Or those beans."

"Dammit Ash..." Gary lowered his paw, either the smell was dissipating or he was getting used to it. Hopefully it was the first option. "Hold that crap in next time."

The hat-wearing Pikachu whirled around, done with his inspection of the place. "What do you expect me to do? Clench my cheeks? Cuz I'm positive that isn't healt-" Ash gasped and ran over to the used-to-be entrance. "W-What?! We're trapped in here!"

"That's what I was going to tell you until you blew up a nuc in here." Gary deadpanned as he turned away from a panicking Ash and focused on the room they were in. Apparently there were two directions that they could go in to go deeper into the cave. One to the north and one to the east. ...North it was. "Doesn't really matter, because we have to find those losers in here anyway."

Ash sighed. "Even if I don't want to admit it, you're right."

Gary inwardly chuckled. _Naturally. _He resumed walking on the sand stone toward the split off on the other side of the room. "We can go this way, since it looks like the whole place is a maze of some sort."

"Why that way?" Gary paused and looked back to see Ash eyeing the other way out of the room. "Let's go this way."

Oak shrugged. "If you want to, but I'm going this way."

Ash squinted his brown eyes and saw that the hallway was darkened, almost pitch black like Gary's way. The former researcher watched as Ash squirmed in place for a brief moment before making his way over to the Eevee. "Hehe...We'll just stick together for this, yeah?"

Gary scoffed. "And you called me a pussy."

Ash bristled. "I just figured that two heads are better than one." He paused for a second. "And you still are one."

The insult flew right over the other's head. "You are what you e-"

"Dick."

Gary snapped his mouth closed and sent a cheeky Ash a death glare before trudging on into the break off with a snickering Pikachu at his heels. When they entered, a mysterious light switched from the room they were just in to the duo, lighting up their immediate surroundings.

They both glanced around confusedly. Ash scratched his cheek. "Sooo...does light just follow us wherever we are?"

"Seems like it..." Gary replied slowly, soaking up the weirdness of this cave and a small part of his mind demanded that they hurry it up and get the fuck out of here. "Don't pay it any mind. I guess it's for our...convenience...?"

"Let's just go with that."

"Alright." The pair then traversed the narrow passageway silently, not paying attention to how a light tracking their every movements was even remotely possible. It wasn't long until they came to another wider room and light filled it to the brim. "Oh look, another one." Gary commented.

"...And metal stairs leading downwards?" Ash stepped past the Eevee and looked down at the hole in the floor that seemed to lead down to another one.

Gary, standing beside him, shook his head slightly. "This whole cave is filled with 'what the fucks'. I think we go down there to progress."

Ash turned his body partially to where they came from. "What about that other hallway?" He then pointed to one in the same room that they were in. "And that one? Where do they lead to?"

"Who gives a shit. They are probably dead ends anyway. Let's just go..." Gary's words trailed off when he noticed movement in his peripherals. He turned his head to the left to see a Corsola approaching them.

Ash curiously followed his gaze until he brightened up. "Oh wow! It's a Corsola! So I guess we're not the only one's in here." The Pikachu stepped around Gary to get closer to the stranger. He smiled widely while Gary stared at the newcomer warily, not feeling good about the situation. Maybe it was the apparent motherfucking scowl the other had on their face raising the warning signs.

"Ash, I don't-"

"Hey!" Ash waved a stubby arm at the Corsola. "I just wanted to ask a question. Do these stairs lead to the way out?"

The Corsola, instead of answering, got ready to lunge at the Pikachu. Gary, sensing that this would happen, sprinted around Ash and tackled it, knocking the pink pokémon out.

Ash gasped. "Gary! What the fuck was that for?"

"I'm positive that it was about to kill you, idiot."

"Kill me? No pokémon would do that!"

"That one just did. Not every pokémon is as innocent like you think they are." Gary blinked. "You know, _every single pokémon _we met here were hostile. Does that prove my point?"

"No, I just think you're being an asshole."

Gary had to prevent from strangling him. "Just come on." He began to descend the stairs. "If it makes you fucking happy, I'll try to _talk _to the next one we meet before erasing them from existence."

Ash rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. "Great! You'll see that _everyone _here isn't hostile!"

* * *

**B2F**

* * *

After exploring the second floor for about five minutes, the duo ran into a Shellder that was radiating a 'I-will-kill-you-now' aura in a hallway. Gary gave the pokémon a leveled look before glancing back at Ash who was nodding enthusiastically. Oak sighed and turned back around. "Hey look..." He narrowed his eyes, scanning the Shellder on front of him. "...guy or girl because I can't tell...Can you point us to the stairs?"

As an answer, the water pokémon aimed a weak tackle to Gary's chest, causing him to wince. The Eevee scowled. "There you go, Ashy-boy. I'm taking this fucker out now."

"But-"

"Or do you want to do it?"

Ash laughed sheepishly. "You go ahead."

With those words, Gary tackled the Shellder and said pokémon fell unconscious on the ground. Oak sneered at it before stepping over the still body. He heard Ash mutter a quiet 'sorry' as he did so as well. _Jeez, Ash is gonna have to grow some balls if the whole world is freaking out to get us._

At the end of that hallway was an open room containing the stairs. As Gary went for the out-of-place metal leading downwards, Ash scurried over to an Oran berry that the Eevee had overlooked. The Pikachu picked it up. "Hm...I wonder what this is doing here..."

Hearing Ash muttering to himself, Gary paused midstep and glanced his way. He focused on the berry in Ash's hands before deeming it worthless. Oran berries were practically useless. 10 HP was nearly nothing. "I don't even know why you're bringing that. How in the hell is it going to be any use to us?"

Ash frowned. "Oh, I don't know, bastard. It might become fucking useful since we're kinda stuck in a totally different world where we're pokémon and a simple Oran berry could act as a revive or some shit like that." He looked down at the berry. "But I see where you're coming from...these are pretty useless in our world..."

Gary rolled his eyes. "Fine take it. But don't come crying to me if you don't feel like holding it anymore." He was about to continue, but then a weird button-looking thing with a green arrow pointing up caught his attention. Cautiously - you _never_ know what could happen - Gary trotted over to the slightly risen plate. He stared at it for a second before lifting his paw up.

"Wait!" Ash's rushed steps approached him. "You're just gonna step on that?! It could be a trap! Have you _not_ watched any movies? If you haven't, your life is really pathetic."

"I've watched movies before!" Gary snapped. "I'm just wondering what it does. The stairs are just over there, so we can make a run for it if we need to."

Ash scoffed. "You gotta be fucking kidding me. Alright, if you want to risk your life, be my guest." The capped Pikachu retreated to the stairs. "But I would like to _keep_ mine, thank you very much."

"Whatever." Gary touched the panel and waited. Nothing. "Well...that was anti-climatic." He then made his way over to Ash with a smirk. "So, you acted like a wuss for no reason."

"I had plenty good reason!"

"And that would be?"

"Someone has to laugh at your funeral."

Gary blinked before making his way down the stairs. "Your mom must've _liked_ dropping you on your head when you were a baby."

* * *

**B3F**

* * *

All Gary had to do was punt the Shellos they ran into against a wall and the pokémon was out for the count.

"You know...I think you're enjoying this way too much."

Oak shrugged. "Meh. Tell them to stop trying to kill me and I'll stop. Maybe."

"But we can't talk to them!"

"My point exactly."

Ash face-palmed, but followed Gary anyway as they stepped out of a passageway and into the stair room. The Eevee then immediately focused on a lone seed laying on the ground in the middle of the room. Wanting to check it out, he went over to it, wondering if it acted like berries. "Ash."

"Yeah?"

"Eat this."

"Now why in the hell would I eat something off the ground?"

"But...you are planning on keeping the Oran berry."

"Touché."

Ash grabbed the seed and stared at it before taking a nibble. Gary watched as his partner suddenly started to sway. Ash dropped the seed and placed a hand on his head. "Wow...I suddenly feel like I haven't slept for fourty-eight hours..."

_A sleep seed? That could be useful later...when I don't have to hold it. _Gary thought as he watched as Ash started to fall into the unwanted hold of sleep. "Oh no you don't." Oak went around and bit the yellow rodent's tail.

"Ahh!" Ash, snapping out of his trance, glared daggers at Gary. "Dammit! What has my tail ever done to you?!"

Gary inwardly grinned. "Nothing. It's just the person attached to it who has pissed me off so many times." He walked away from the Pikachu. "Let's go, ya big crybaby."

"Ugh. I hate you so much."

"You're just repeating yourself now."

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**Beach Cave Pit up next! Stay tuned and don't forget to review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own anything related to pokémon.**

**PS- I know I skipped Beach Cave level four, that's gonna happen sometimes, 'specially with the larger dungeons.**

* * *

**Beach Cave Pit**

* * *

The duo descended the metal stairs down into what seemed to be the lowest part of the cave. Ash and Gary looked around the cove in awe, entering the wide space and leaving paw prints in the soft sand underneath them. The Eevee took in the shining sea blue water surrounding the peninsula of mushy sand, splashing softly against it and the maroon-colored rocks protruding from the serene waves.

Too bad the magnificent view was ruined by the two poison types completely destroying the place just by fucking _standing _there.

The two former humans eventually came to a stop a good enough distance away from the two thieves. Gary glared at their backs and focused on the piece of rock that was visible sitting in the Zubat's mouth.

Before Oak could say anything, Ash took another step closer to the malicious pair, his red cheeks buzzing with live electricity. "Hey, ya bastards!"

The Pikachu's voice seemed to startle them for some reason even though Ash and Gary weren't trying to be quiet whatsoever. The purple duo turned around and Koffing sneered down at the two. "Well, well...If it isn't our old friends, the big losers."

Ash crossed his arms and stared levelly up at them. "Says the pokémon who went out of their way just to steal some plain ass rock. Now..." He held out a hand that wasn't occupied by a berry. "Just hand it over and you two won't end up as two orders of fried thieves."

Gary smirked when he saw the airborne pokémon subtly flinch. Zubat shook his head slightly and cracked a grin around the rock in his mouth. "Plain, you say?" It was time for Gary to flinch when he saw globs of spit gathering on the broken land, drenching it. Ugh, he would _gladly_ take the Oran out of Ash's hands because there was no way in hell he was carrying that. In his _mouth_, no less. "I don't think so. There has to be a reason why there are white lines all over it." Yeah, because a kid went crazy with chalk. "This is treasure!"

Koffing smirked wider. "It could be worth a lot, I'd say." He nudged his purple partner. "We ought to try selling it. Who knows? It might get a good price." Were they serious? Now who in the hell would by a rock for anything more than one poke? "Whoa-ho-ho! All the more reason not to give it back!"

Ash and Gary shared the same unimpressed look. The latter shook his head and stepped up, glaring at the two. "Alright, you two are batshit _crazy_, pun intended, if you think someone is going to buy that goddamn thing. Just give it back." The Eevee eyed the rock in disgust. "Before you get your smelly DNA all over it."

Zubat scoffed, trying and failing to hide his irritation. "If you want it back that badly... Come and get it! Heh-heh-heh!" The partners-in-crime stopped smirking and seemed to get ready for an all-out battle.

Gary just blinked, not fathoming how freaking stupid these two idiots were. They had literally got the hell out of dodge when Ash sent a single thundershock their way, but now they were ready to take on the _both_ of them? Tch, this wasn't going to take long. Taking a piss was probably going to be longer than this fight.

"Huh, you guys want a battle? I'll give you a battle!" Gary saw Ash lay the berry in the sand before dropping to all fours, grinning excitedly at the other two, static permeating the air around him. "Ready, Gary?"

Oak scoffed. "More than you'll ever be, Ashy-boy."

"Hey! We're on the same team here!"

Gary smirked. "I know. Now shut up and get focused. I would like to show them how much of a _guy_ I am." He nearly growled the last part and Zubat glanced accusingly over to Koffing who looked like he regretted riling up the Eevee even more unintentionally. "You take the fart cloud while I pound the fucking fire hydrant over here."

With those words, Eevee took off in a great burst of speed toward the flying bat. Zubat didn't even have a chance to dodge as Gary jumped up and smacked into him, sending the poison type straight to the ground, bouncing a couple times. Gary landed on the ground with grace, soaking in his effective hit as Zubat tried to recover from the fall. "You made a terrible mistake wanting to battle, prepare to get your ass handed to you."

In corner of his eye, Gary saw Koffing hit the sand, sending several grains into the air. The downed gas cloud-thing was twitching on the ground, yellow sparks occasionally appearing on his body.

Ash laughed out loud. "Ha, take that you fucker!"

"I'm not...out yet." Koffing struggled out, getting back into the air. A scowl marring his face was the only warning of a tackle heading Ash's way. The Pikachu was ready to dodge, but the poison type turned at the last minute and aimed for Gary. Not expecting that, the Eevee took a hit to the chest, being sent backwards in a roll.

"Dammit!" Gary cursed, standing back up with a deep frown on his face. The attack didn't hurt that much, but it was the sole fact that he actually got hit pissed him off. He was not about to get beat by the result of Taco Bell night!

Before he could move, Zubat, who he had orgotten about for a moment, laughed as he sent a leechlife at him. Gary hissed as there was a pinprick in his side that drained a bit of his life. Oak glared at the bat who didn't have the rock anymore, it was left behind him in the sand. Deciding to focus on that later, he performed another tackle, anger boosting his speed even more so even if Zubat wanted to dodge, there was no way he could. The bat was once again sent crashing to the ground, but he didn't get up this time, knocked unconscious.

"Zubat!" Koffing yelled out worriedly before scowling at Gary. "Why you little...! Ah!" The floating ball barely dodged a devastating thundershock sent his way before barreling toward Oak once more. The Eevee was too busy looking at Ash thinking that the other was a motherfucking moron for missing to notice Koffing soaring right at him.

Gary endured the hit enough this time to only be sent back a bit, paws digging into the loose sand. Huffing out of his nose, the brown pokémon jumped up and tackled Koffing, not holding back. The poison type was thrown back until he bounced off of a towering rock, sinking to the ground.

With a chuckle, Ash relaxed his cheeks and propped himself on his two back feet. He scratched his nose, regarding Gary, "Man, you're ruthless!"

"Hmph. They deserved it." The Eevee was suave as he approached the downed Koffing. Standing over him, Gary scoffed before turning around and donkey kicking the other back at the rock again. "Who's the girl now? Bitch."

Gary, hearing footsteps behind him, glanced back to see Ash approaching his side. The shaggy-haired Pikachu laughed. "That was pretty fun! Wouldn't you say?"

"That's only because you fucking didn't get hit." Gary whirled on him. "Speaking of that...how in the hell did you miss him? I got hit _again _because of that!"

Ash held his hands up. "Whoa whoa! It's not like I _meant _to miss, asshole. I sneezed! I can't do that now?"

Gary narrowed his eyes. "No."

Before Oak had the _pleasure_ of hearing how ridiculous that answer was, there was a pair of groans coming from the formerly unconscious poison types. Gary and Ash shifted their attention over to them.

Koffing was the first to speak, "Owowow..."

Zubat moaned, "Ugh... We got roughed up..."

Ash grinned. "Damn right you did!"

The purple ball laid on the ground for another moment before getting back into the air, his body trembling from the strain. There was a pained wince on his face. "B-blast it... How'd we get wiped out by wimps like them?" It's wasn't that hard, Gary thought, sitting on his haunches. He'd had more trouble opening a jar of peanut butter.

Zubat peeled himself off of the shore, spitting out sand as he struggled to flap his wings to get airborne. "Bah!" He spat out, just barely being able to keep himself off the ground. He then retrieved the piece of rock still laying in the sand. Zubat chucked it over to Gary, aiming to hit the Eevee in the head, but it fell short and landed nicely at Oak's paws. "Here you go. Take it, then!"

Koffing then sniggered, however it was still clear as day that he was hurting. "Whoa-ho! Don't think you're so awesome. Your victory was a fluke!"

A fluke. Gary went from frowning at the still DNA enriched rock to staring blankly at Koffing. He didn't even say anything. He _couldn't_ say anything unless everyone in the clearing wanted to hear all of the curse words Gary had in his vocabulary. And there were a lot of them.

"Yeah!" Zubat added, "you just remember that!" The two flying pokémon then flew past them and out of sight as fast as they could, right about walking speed.

"Well, that's that." Ash commented as he went over to his discarded berry. "What do we do nex-"

The yellow pokémon trailed off when a brown blur ran past him and grabbed the Oran in his mouth. Gary, after sending a smirk to Ash, bit into it and swallowed. He immediately felt better. Ash gaped at him. Oak wiped his mouth with a paw. "That was delicious. Now, since you don't have anything to carry..." Gary gestured over to the rock. "Carry that."

Ash pointed at him. "You-You ate that on purpose!" Duh. "Just so I have to carry that disgusting rock!" Bingo. The Pikachu folded his arms in front of his chest. "I'm not doin' it!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not, dammit!"

Gary sighed and ran a paw down his face. "Yes you are. Just go wash it off in the water."

"Ew! You go do it!"

"Ash, I am not putting that _thing_ into my fucking _mouth_. Go. Do. It."

The Pikachu scowled before turning his back on Gary, moving slowly toward the rock. "You're lucky you don't have any hands..." He muttered lowly. Ash gingerly picked up the rock on its dry side before tossing it into the shallow water. He went over and waited a bit before glancing back at a smug Gary. "How do I know when it's clean?"

Oak shrugged. "Hell if I know."

Ash sighed. "Great." After a couple minutes, he grabbed the piece of drawn-on land again. He stared at it warily. "I _guess_ its clean..."

"Good as it's gonna get." Gary got up and started to leave the way the poison types left, Ash following.

"What're we going to do now?" Said pokémon asked.

Gary shrugged again. "Find someone who doesn't want to kill us."

"Easier said than done..."

The Eevee shook his head in amusement as they made their way out of the cave - which was totally easier than coming in, by the way - and as a certain thought popped up in his mind.

_Wait, why in the hell do we want this rock, anyway?_


	4. Chapter 4

** I don't own anything pokémon related. **

* * *

Gary and Ash eventually made it out of Beach Cave and back out in the open, where the sun was nearly dipping under the horizon. Oak's answer to his own question was a quick shrug of brown shoulders. He glanced over to Ash who was holding the rock like it might detonate any moment and take their unsuspecting asses out. Maybe they wanted it because someone actually had the effing nerve to steal it. Any reason other than that? ...Nah.

With a quick glance around, the Eevee noticed that the Krabby were still blowing bubbles into the sunset. Gary slowly came to a stop, his paws sinking marginally in the damp sand, for a second time to admire how the light reflecting off the floating spheres which caused the amazing range of colors. He stood there staring for a moment until a familiar voice called his name.

"Hey Gary."

"Yeah?" He whirled his head around toward Ash only for the Pikachu to blow a bubble right into the brunette's face. Gary's eyes felt like someone had just shoved a shitload of red peppers into them. The Eevee cried out in shock and in pain, 99% the latter, before glaring death Ash's way through the blurry tears fucking up his vision. Gary was _so_ very tempted just to bury his face in the sand, saltwater, _something_ to reduce the burning, but he doubted that would help at all. Instead, he just focused on Ash's mocking laugh getting further away from him. Gary looked around before focusing on the watery form of the Pikachu running toward the other exit of the beach. Eevee growled low is his throat. "Where are you going, you fucker! Come back here!"

"Haha!" Pikachu threw over his shoulder. "That's what you get for making me hold this dumbass rock! And what are you gonna do? Tail whip me to death?"

Gritting his teeth, Gary shook his head and blinked a couple times, successfully clearing his vision enough to zero in on the retreating yellow form. He scowled before taking off, kicking up sand behind him. Oak then smirked when it seemed like he was gaining in on the other, because Ash was stumbling over his own two feet like a Spinda on acid. Gary vaguely noticed that the scenery was changing from the sandy seashore to a dirt path; he was only focused on his revenge from Ash taking his own revenge.

Gary willed his legs to run faster and the Pikachu decided to take a look behind him. Oak reveled in the fact that Ash's smug expression melted right off that bastard's face. Now Ash looked like a bat running straight out of hell. "Oh _shit!_"

The former raven picked up speed, but it was too late. Gary was already within tackle distance. And that's exactly what he did. Ash fell with a loud yell and the duo went tumbling a few yards until coming to a stop with Gary pushing Ash's head into the dirt with a sneer. "Tail whip? Oh no, but I sure can tackle your ass to the ground." He snorted. "Pretty effective if I do say so myself." There was incomprehensible mumbling coming from beneath him and Gary snickered to himself, lowering his head. "What was that, asshole? That you're sorry?" More mumbling. "That you regret it?" Even more mumbling. "That I, Gary Oak, is better than you in every way and will always be a better everything than you? Heh, I'm glad that you agree."

Then Ash started to flail.

Gary blinked before removing his paw from the back of the yellow one's head, allowing for the capped pokémon to sit up and take deep breaths. The Eevee sat on his haunches and stared at Ash impassionately. "Oh right. Forgot you needed oxygen."

Pikachu spat out clumps of dirt mixed with mucus, to Gary's disgust, before sending daggers over to the passive Oak, still huffing. "'Forgot' my ass! You were trying to kill me!"

Gary shrugged. "Not intentionally." Something to his left then caught his eye and the evolution pokémon examined the small flowing fountain, obviously man (pokémon?) made. This caused his interest about where they _exactly_ where to peak. Blocking out Ash's wheezing, beady eyes took in their surroundings. There seemed to be at a sort of pathway with diverging directions. One led back to the beach, another path to Arceus-knows-where, a third to some kind of town, and the last to...

What the hell?

"Um...Ash?" When he received a breathy response, Gary continued, "Are you seeing...the giant Wigglytuff too? Or am I just hallucinating and I need to check in to the nearest mental asylum asap."

"Wigglytuff?" Ash's voice was more even now. Guess he recovered from his near asphyxiation. That's good. "What are you...Oh wow..."

"Okay, that's great news." The loony bin could wait then.

"Jeez, it's so big!" Was...Ash's voice getting _excited_ about this? And also, that's what she said.

Gary saw the Pikachu passing him and heading up the path. He went wide-eyed. "Ash! What in the hell are you doing?"

Ash looked back and rolled his eyes. "What do you think? Use your brain for once."

Oak decided to ignore that insult. This time. "Are you insane?" Maybe Ash was the one who needed to be restrained in a straight jacket. "That place...isn't normal!" He hissed out.

"So?" The other kept going, tossing the rock in the air before catching it again. "Stop being such a pu-"

"I swear if you finish that you're going six feet under. More dirt than you'll ever fucking need down there."

Ash snapped his mouth closed, swallowing his words. "Arceus, Gary, stop being a _jerk_ and come on! What's the worst that could happen?"

The Eevee sighed, reluctantly following. "That's what people say in horror movies before they get gutted by a blood-thirsty Gengar."

Gary heard the mouse pokémon gulp. "Aa...j-just don't think about that." Oak snickered to himself until he realized that Ash didn't turn around and head for the town, where he was pretty sure most sane people would go to instead of the huge and out-of-place Wigglytuff. He should've known. Ash wasn't like most sane people.

At the top of the hill, the duo came to a stop and soaked in the weird pokémon totem polls, the propped bowls with fire crackling in them, and finally, the _metal bars_ in the entrance of the Wigglytuff tent thing.

Gary glanced askance at Ash. "So...you wanted to check out a fucking _prison_? The hell's wrong with you today?" He knocked not-too-gently on the other's head. "Anyone in there? Or did they get the hell out of dodge when they found out that you are a lost cause?"

Ash swatted his paw away. "Very funny, bastard." He returned his focus on the barred entrance. "I didn't know that it was a prison! I just saw the pink pokémon on top and wanted to check it out! Is that so wrong?"

"Yes." Gary answered without missing a beat.

Pikachu shook his head, walking forward yet _again_. What an idiot. "You're impossible."

Oak was about to refute that statement, but a loud voice that pierced the air as soon as Ash stepped on a grated platform made him hold his words. "Pokémon detected! Pokémon detected!"

"Whose footprint? Whose footprint?" That was another voice.

"The footprint is Pikachu's!" The first voice answered. "The footprint is Pikachu's!"

"What the?!" Ash glanced down at the gate before looking back at an equally surprised Gary. Looked like the former was about to cut and run.

"I have no effing clue."

"...You may ENTER!" It was that second voice now. "Someone's with you! So get that stranger to stand up THERE!"

There was a tense pause. Ash then carefully got off the grate like the thing was going to collapse from under his feet any second. He got one foot off the wood before launching off of it, rolling on the ground once and popping back up. Gary just gave him a level gaze for being a complete moron. If Ash was offended, he didn't show it (to Gary's dismay). "They, pretty fucking rudely, probably meant you, Gary." The mouse pointed. "They said to stand up there."

Gary scoffed, hiding his nervousness. "I know that. I was there." After a split second of hesitation, he walked up and stood on the wooden grate. _Oh...if they try something, they will be facing the wrath of a pissed off Oak. They'd think that I'm a raging Steelix. _

"Pokémon detected! Pokémon detected!"

"Whose footprint? Whose footprint?"

"The footprint is... The footprint is... Um..."

"What's the matter?! Sentry! Sentry?! What's wrong, sentry Diglett?" A Diglett? So pokémon were in charge here? Gary glanced up at the Wigglytuff tent. Then again, it wasn't that surprising.

"Umm... Er... Umm... The footprint is... Maybe Eevee's! Maybe Eevee's!"

"What?! MAYBE?!"

"B-but... It's not a footprint that you normally see around here..." There were no Eevee's around here? Sure, they were kinda rare where he came from, but come on. They'd _never_ seen one before?

Gary looked over to a bemused Ash. "Are they _arguing_?"

The mouse tilted his head some. "I think so...but it's very unprofessional if this is their fucking job or somethin'." He wasn't lying.

"...Sorry to make you WAIT." Did this guy have to yell in every sentence? His ears were starting to hurt. "Well, it's TRUE that you don't see any Eevee in these parts..." Bullshit. "But you don't SEEM to be bad..." Wait, wait...they were trying to keep bad people out? What kind of prison was this? "Ok, good enough! ENTER!"

The duo both flinched when the bars started to rise.

Now, Gary's curiosity was too high to ignore. He wanted to see if this really was a jail, because it seemed like the complete opposite. "Well, let's head in." Oak started to go inside.

"Wait Gary..."

He glanced back. "Don't tell me you're chickening out, Ashy-boy." He jeered.

Ash seethed before trailing him. "Fine. Asshole. If I get killed I'm blaming it on you."

"Says the person who wanted to come up here in the first place."

"Shut up!"

Gary chuckled as he entered the tent. It then cut off when he was met with a ladder leading straight down. He sidestepped and gestured to the ladder when Ash came inside. "You first."

The electric type smirked and shook his head, gesturing to the structure. "Oh no. _Ladies_ first."

Oak scowled, but went for it any way. "Keep that up, see what happens." He left the threat hanging as he carefully made it down the ladder. Gary eventually made it to the next floor and hopped off the deathtrap. His beady eyes then quickly scanned the place, taking in the bright and sunny atmosphere. Totally not prison worthy.

The whole room had a thin layer of grass covering the floor, with patches of clear smooth dirt. There were a few stones scattered around in the center. Other pokémon were spread out the place as well, just conversing or looking at billboards that had seemingly random papers on them. Gary took a few more steps into the room before hearing Ash breathe out a, "Wow..."

Oak turned around with a raised eyebrow. The Pikachu saw this and scratched the back of his neck, laughing. "This is a _real_ scary prison, I'll give ya that, Gary."

The Eevee sat down and snorted. "Fuck off." He saw a Pidgey and Seedot in his peripherals give him a dirty look before moving away, putting more distance between them and him. Gary had to prevent following them just to piss 'em off. He refocused on Ash who seemingly didn't see what happened. He was too busy looking around in awe. It wasn't that great of a place, really. He'd seen better caves. "The bars were off-putting."

Ash chuckled and waved him off. "Excuses, excuses." The Pikachu then tapped his chin, drifting his gaze to Gary. "Hey...wasn't someone supposed to meet us here, or something like that? I mean, they freaking argued about us being in here, and no one is waiting. That's very-"

"Unprofessional."

"Right!" Gary just shook his head. Ash could be repetitive sometimes. Occasionally. A lot. Alright, all the time. Especially with that 'save the world' crap. Something bad always had to be where Ash was just so he could fix it. So no one else could be in the fucking spotlight. ...Was Gary salty? A bit. He wanted recognition too, dammit!

"Excuse me!"

Ash laughed again. "Spoken into existence!"

"Don't think highly of yourself, moron. Someone would've came eventually." Gary snickered inwardly. What was with these sexual innuendos today he paid attention to? When was the last time he got laid? ...Ah, that's probably why.

The other huffed. "You just can't let me be happy, can you?"

"Nope."

Hearing soft footsteps, the two turned toward the smiling Chatot approaching them.

"Uh oh, bird brain alert." Ash grinned beside him.

Gary scoffed. "So immature." But he couldn't keep the grin off his face either.

The flying pokémon stopped a respectable distance away. "It was you two that just came in, right?"

Ash nodded. "Yep."

The bird's smile widened. "I'm Chatot!" Obvious statement was obvious. "I'm the pokémon in the know around these parts!" 'In the know'? Arceus, how old was this guy? A hundred and five? "I am Guildmaster Wigglytuff's right-hand pokémon!"

The Pikachu coughed. "Dick rider." Gary had to bite his lip from bursting out laughing.

Chatot cocked his head in confusion. "Pardon? Did you say something?"

Ash shook his head, trying and failing at keeping the smirk off his face. "Nope! Nothing."

The bird nodded like he believed him. "Alright, now shoo!" Gary blinked. The hell? "Leave the premises! We have no time for salespeople or silly surveys. Off you go, if you please!"

"What in the heck are you talking about?" Gary's tail swished behind him. "That's not why we're here."

"Oh? Then why?"

The Pikachu and Eevee shared a look. Should they tell him out them being former humans? The bird might - scratch that - _will_ think they're crazy. They should wait a bit. Their families wouldn't be _that_ worried.

Ash adjusted his cap nervously. "Uh..."

Great improv, idiot. "Look. We just wanted to um..." Gary glanced around briskly before settling on the Bidoof and Sunflora at the billboard. He gestured over to them. "...do what they're doing. Yeah."

Chatot glanced over to where he pointed to before having a mini-seizer. "Wh-what?! You want to be an exploration team?"

Ash looked curiously over to Gary and he shrugged. Having no idea what he just did. And why it was so shocking.

The bird turned his back on them, but the pair's good ears let them hear the other's mumbling. "It's rare to see a couple of kids like this want to apprentice at the guild. Especially given how hard our training is! Surely the steady stream of pokémon that run away from our rigorous training proves how true that is!"

The mouse pumped his fist. "Doesn't matter! The harder the better!" Oh man, there went another one. "We aren't weak. We can take anything you dish out!"

Chatot smiled brightly and turned back around, singing, "Well, well, well! I wish you had told me up front that you wanted to be an exploration team! He-heee!" Whoa...bipolar alert. It's not a prison, but this _might_ be an asylum.

Ash frowned. "His attit-"

"Yes. Yes it did."

"Ok!" Chatot continued. "Let's get your team signed up right away. Follow me!"

Team? As in him and Ash were going to work _together?_ Gary inwardly sighed.

Wonderful.

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**Don't forget to review! :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wish I owned pokemon, but I don't sadly.**

* * *

As the bird started to walk off, Ash turned to Gary. "Guess we're going to be partners, partner!" He patted Oak roughly on his shoulder only to receive a growl.

"It's just temporary until we know what's going on and we can ask how to find our way back." The brunette huffed. "Then I can go back to hating you with a passion and destroying your team every time we battle."

"The hell? It's the other way around! _You're _the fucking one who goes crying back to- Wait." Ash blinked before his eyes were filled with Sandile tears. "You hate me Gary? I thought what we had…" The former raven sniffed dramatically. "Was special!" Ash let out a huge fake sob and started bawling. Gary cursed as he glanced around, seeing how the other's loud and shitty acting was attracting attention.

The Eevee swore to Arceus that he was going to kill Ash in his sleep the first chance he got. "Ash!" Gary hissed so that only the one on front of him could hear. "Shut up!"

"I-I can't!" Pikachu dropped the rock at his feet and hid his head in his hands, shoulders trembling. Gary narrowed his eyes. He couldn't tell if it was from crying or laughter. "Not if I just lost my best friend!"

Hearing disapproving whispers, the researcher groaned out loud. Ash apparently wanted something, that's why he was doing this stupid stunt. "I'll do whatever you want! Just fucking stop already!"

Ash lowered his hands and smiled like he just wasn't crying a river. He picked up the rock, his grin threatening to split his face in half. "Thanks man! Ok listen, whenever we – you know – Charizard's gonna need a bath. He'd been literally rolling in Taruos shit."

Gary was ready to explode. "That isn't even _relevant_ to right now!"

"Hey, you said anything." Ash laughed. "And I really _don't_ want to touch Charizard."

Before Oak could shove the rock down the Pikachu's windpipe, Chatot cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. "Um, I appreciate it if you wouldn't use such language…"

The Eevee grabbed the opportunity. "What?" He asked a little louder than normal. "What did you fucking say? I can't hear for shit!"

Ash puffed his cheeks, straining from busting a gut while the bird winced before giving a twitchy smile. "Nothing!" He gestured to the ladder. "Come on, this way!" Chatot then proceeded to go down to the next floor.

Gary trotted over to the ladder and looked down. "Huh, I didn't even know there was another floor to this."

Ash, swallowing back the laughs, walked beside him before smacking him on the back of the head.

Oak flinched and glared at the mouse. "What in the hell was that for?!"

"How did you _not_ know? You _used_ the goddamn ladder for Arceus' sake!"

Gary rolled his eyes. "Well I'm _sorry _for not paying attention while I was trying to not fall off and break my _leg._" He paused for a moment before using his tail to push Ash into the hole. Gary grinned at the shout of surprise he received. "And that's what you get for hittin' me."

Ash got hold of the wood with one hand and eventually straightened himself out from there. "I could've died you asshole!"

"That was the plan."

Pikachu huffed from below as he made his way down. "I _can't_ wait to watch you try clean bull shit from under your nails for a week…"

Gary scoffed. If Ash really thought that he was going to clean off that rancid fire-type, he had another thing coming. Like a water hose to the face. Taking a deep breath, Oak hoped that didn't lose a grip on the ladder before carefully going down it. Gary let out the held in air when he got at the bottom, thinking that the place really should get an elevator so he wouldn't have to worry about falling on his ass every time he had to move around the place.

With his feet safe on the ground, he stood by Ash and watched in amusement how the smile on Chatot's face seemed like it was actually _hurting_ him. Oh well. Bet he's regretting inviting them to stay. Gary inwardly smiled. If everyone there was like birdbrain, then him and Ash would have a helluva time here making people uncomfortable.

Chatot raised a wing, gesturing to the floor they are on. "This is the guild's second underground floor." Gary looked around to see the area emptier than the one above. There was a weird statue of a Crogunk to his left with said pokemon standing in front of it and a closed door to his right. Also, on the opposite sides of the room, there were hallways leading somewhere. Gary's eyes snapped back to the bird when he started talking again. "This is mainly where the apprentices work. Team registration is this way. Come along…" The bird's whole body twitched and Ash snorted. "…Please."

"Whoa…holy shit!" The Pikachu ran over to where light poured in through the window. "We're underground! How the hell?"

Gary just shook his head slowly. "Moron. We are on the side of a cliff, dumbass, how could you _not_ know?" He went from insulting to mocking at the flip of a coin. One of his many talents.

Ash must've caught it, because he whirled around and gave Oak the finger.

The flying-type squawked indignantly, ruffling his feathers. "Now that is just obscene! I have had enough of your tomfoolery! Now leave!" Ash lowered his hand and looked at Chatot blandly before turning back to Gary. There was a beat of silence until the two partners busted out laughing.

"Au contraire…" Gary began with a canary eating smirk on his face. "You see that sign over there?" The Eevee pointed and Chatot followed his paw to a sign that said: **Bedrooms**. "Yeah, I'm sure you can fucking read; pokémon are housed here, right?" The bird nodded, a perplexed look on his face. He'll figure it out soon enough. "Right. So previously, you accepted us into the guild, ultimately giving us a place to stay. If you kick us back out on the street for no good _reason_…I'm positive my lawyer will have a field day."

Chatot's face morphed from confused, to shocked, then to immensely worried. The birdbrain gulped audibly. "M-My apologies! I should really be more open-minded!" He forced out a laugh before going up to the large wooden door. He cleared his throat nervously. "Ahem…Now, here we are at Guildmaster Wigglytuff's chamber." Chatot's eyes went from them to the door and back quickly. "Um…and please don't be discourteous to our Guildmaster."

"We won't." Gary looked at him smugly. "If he's cool."

The bird seemed like he was going to faint. "Alright then…" He turned away from them and knocked on the door. "Guildmaster! It's Chatot! I'm coming in!"

When the flying-type had turned away, Ash snickered and held out a fist. "Dude, that was amazing! And you just made that up on the fly!"

Gary fist bumped him with a victorious grin. "Of course it was. But I was taking a _huge_ mothereffing risk there…I had no damn idea if there were lawyers here."

Pikachu stifled a chuckle. "Good thing they do, huh?"

The pair glanced ahead at the sound of wood creaking. Chatot waved to them to follow him and they did into a spacious room with some kind of treasure chest and bowls with charred logs in them. Standing on the rug in the middle of the floor was a Wigglytuff with his back to the trio.

Chatot had seemed to regain his composure. "Guildmaster! I present to you two pokemon who wish to join our guild as…" The bird glanced back anxiously at them and stared boldly back. "…apprentices." Birdbrain trailed off and the room was filled with uncomfortable quiet until Chatot started again. "Guildmaster…um…" Gary cocked his head. What in the hell was wrong with the Wigglytuff? "Guildmaster?"

The Eevee and Pikachu shared a confused glance before jumping out of their skin when the pink one turned around and yelled: "Hiya!"

Ash shouted and almost dropped the rock, but Gary kept most of his fright on the inside, cursing like a sailor in his mind.

"I'm Wigglytuff!" He waved at the pair with an open wave. "I'm the guild's Guildmaster!" Gary's lips curved toward a bit. Was it just him, or was Wigglytuff acting like a freaking child? "You want to form an exploration team?" Gary and Ash simultaneously nodded, slightly concerned about how this man could possibly own a facility like this. "Then, let's go for it! First we must register your exploration team's name!"

_A name?_ Gary thought, stunned. Did they really have to name themselves? Was that seriously necessary?

"A team name?" Ash tapped his chin in deep thought. "Hm… How about Poképals?"

There were no words to describe how far Ash's stupidity reached. "You are a fucking idiot. What kind of ass name is that?"

The Eevee heard Chatot suck in a quick breath, but before he could say anything, Wigglytuff spoke up, "Wow! Such colorful language! What a change from the norm around here. You two will fit in perfectly!"

Chatot gasped. "Don't _encourage_ them!"

Wigglytuff just waved him off. "No need to worry, Chatot! It's a welcome change!"

"Yeah _Chatot_," Ash jeered. "A welcome change!" He sniggered before refocusing back on Gary. "Okay, so Poképals is out. I agree that was kind of a bad one. What about Champions?"

Eevee scoffed. "That's funny, coming from _you, _Ash_._"

Pikachu gaped. "Gary motherfucking Oak. You did _not_ just go there!"

"I wouldn't have to if you had at least won _one._"

Before an all-out brawl happened right in that room, Wigglytuff clapped his hands together. "Gary and Ash? What wonderful names! You don't go by your species' names, another great change!"

The pair blinked before Ash drawled out an, "Okaayy…." He scowled at Gary. "We'll finish our little _discussion_ later."

The brunette grinned. "Can't wait."

Ash returned to the original topic, after throwing another glare Gary's way. "How about team Win?"

"Nah."

"Awesome?"

"Nope."

"Team Pokémon?"

Gary just stared.

"Badass?"

The evolution pokémon smirked and gave Chatot a mischievous look. "Interesting…but I think I have a better one in mind. Team Damage. Has a nice ring to it, dontcha think?"

"Team Damage…" Ash smiled. "I like that."

"All settled, then!" They all turned to Wigglytuff. "I'll register your team as Damage. Registering! Registering!" Of _course _he would start singing… "All registered…YOOM...TAH!" Aannndd there went Gary's eardrums. "Congratulations! From now on, you're an official exploration team! I present you with this in commemoration." The pink creature came forward and placed a box in front of the duo.

Gary shrugged before opening it. Inside were badges of some sort, a map, and a backpack. Ash picked up the latter and looked inside. "Cool! There's this…weird ribbon thing and a brown bow…" Did Wigglytuff expect them to wear those? Yep, he's a loon.

"Those two items are special." The pink puffball said. "I'm sure they will help you on your adventures!"

"Yeah. I totally agree with you." The yellow mouse commented sarcastically as he put the rock in the bag before shrugging it on his shoulders. Chatot looked a mixture of angry and flabbergasted; however, it went right over Wigglytuff's head.

"You can use it to help you train! You're new here, so that's mostly what you'll be doing."

"Train? I'm cool with that!"

"Tch. That's the only thing you _can_ do." Oh man, Ash's red face was priceless! He should really take pictures and sell that shit.

"Well…It seems that we are done here, so let me take you to your rooms." Chatot nodded a farewell to Wigglytuff before passing the newly formed Team Damage. Gary did the same as he trotted out and Ash threw a single wave over his shoulder. The duo followed the colorful flying-type across the wide area and into a narrower hallway. They passed two passageways leading to bedrooms before finally getting to theirs. It has enough space for the two of them with two hay beds and a window showing the sun disappearing under the horizon, stars gradually showing themselves.

"This is your room." Chatot stepped to the side to allow them in. They both went over to the beds. Gary inwardly scowled. Nothing like a mattress and covers, but it's better than not having one at all, he guessed.

"It's kinda like roughing it outside." Ash said as he tossed the bag over to the corner.

"You will live here while you work for us, as you already know." Gary nodded mockingly. Damn right he knew. "Things will start getting busy for you tomorrow! So rise early and start living up to our code! Don't stay up late. Get to sleep early tonight. That is all." What was he, his mother? Chatot turned around, ready to walk out. "Oh…wait…" The bird glanced back somewhat uncomfortably. "Um… Will you try to keep your…voices down to a minimum? To not disturb your neighbors…"

Gary grinning knowingly. "Of course."

Chatot stared for another moment before leaving them alone.

And as soon as he did, Oak was hit with a jolt of electricity. He hissed in pain and whirled around to face a smirking Ash. Goddammit. That _hurt! _"I told you we would have our discussi-"

Wanting revenge, Gary cut the other off by lunging at him, eyes blazing. "You'll pay for that fucker!" He tackled Ash right in the stomach, and the mouse retaliated by punching the brunette in the shoulder. Gary then bit the mouse's arm.

Let's just say…the other teams of the guild didn't get a restful sleep until way later on in the night.


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't** **own anything relating to pokémon**.

* * *

"HEY! HEY THERE!"

Gary jolted awake in his bed with an agonized yell before quickly covering his ears, hoping that the simple action alone would keep his eardrums from bursting. He was a hundred percent sure that the moron was up too. There was no way anyone could sleep through this fucking noise that would wake the dead. If they were ever in a scary movie, he would be miles away from whoever this asshole was.

"RISE AND SHINE!"

Goddammit! This wasn't working! Somebody shut him the hell up! Oak swore that if he became deaf from this, he was going to fuck a specific loud-mouth up, no exceptions.

"Why are you still ASLEEP?! WAKE UP!"

The Eevee screamed a stream of curse words in his head nonstop, too tired and too much in mindnumbing _pain_ to say them out loud. From beside him, Gary miraculously heard the faint sound of whimpering coming from Ash. Heh, that's what that fucker gets, attacking him last night, never mind that Gary was getting the same tortuous treatment. Today Ash better-

"C'mon! Snap OUT of it! I'm Loudred! And I'm a fellow apprentice!" Oh really? That meant that Gary had all the time in the world to murder the piece of shit. "If you're late for our morning briefing, you'll be SORRY!" Oak winced, trying to burry into the hay bed to no avail. "So MOVE it! Guildmaster Wigglytuff has got a BIG-"

Alright. That's _it!_

Gary jumped off his bed, already growling, and glared daggers at the newcomer. If looks could kill, Loudred would be just gone. No ashes, no pile of limbs, no anything. He would've been wiped away from existence.

"Okay, _Loudred,_" The brunette spat out the pokémon's name and his voice was dripping with venom an Eevee should not have. Gary had to keep from smirking at the sight of the other flinching away marginally. He was too pissed to show any kind of satisfaction. "Why in the _hell_ did that small brain of yours command your body to come shouting in here like your _dick got caught in a toaster?!_"

The purple pokémon scowled, but it didn't look so confident. Gary couldn't help but crack a wicked grin at that. "One, because it's my JOB." Gary knew that he would go to jail for murder, but this guy would be gone, so he would be able to live with that. "And two, because you kept everyone UP half the night with your own YELLING!" Loudred turned his nose up and turned around, starting to head out the way he came. "And hurry UP! Guildmaster gets a temper when people are LATE!"

Gary stared after the other, singed fur shaking with rage. Ooo… Arceus was testing him, and he was about to fail that shit. However, Oak's head got to wake up more and began to think clearer. No. He couldn't murder the guy. The evolution pokémon started taking deep breaths to calm himself. He couldn't kill the bastard. Not right now at least. Too many potential witnesses.

"Hey asshole."

"_What?"_ Oak snapped and glanced back, still ticked off and he hadn't forgotten his fight with the moron. He still had jitters.

Ash, with purple bruises, came up beside him with a frown. But it wasn't directed at Gary, but down the hall. "You hate him."

"Fucking absolutely."

"And I hate him."

"You should."

Ash turned toward him and held out a hand. "Momentary truce?"

Gary thought for a second before meeting the other's hand with his paw. "Truce." They both nodded before making their somewhat painful way down the hall.

The Pikachu then vengefully grinned at Oak. "Well, until we kill him."

Gary returned the expression. "Of course." He then scowled. "You better watch your back idiot when that time comes."

"Same to you, dick."

It wasn't long until the hallway opened up into the large room. Gary glanced at everyone there, coming to the conclusion that these were all the other apprentices. The ones that matter, that is. There was a Sunflora, a Diglett, a Bidoof, that piece of turd, a Corphish, a Chimecho, a Dugtrio, a Croagunk, and bird brain.

Seeing how they were lined up, Oak trotted up to the front row and heard Ash snicker. "Ladies first, am I right?"

Before Gary could give a scathing retort, a very loud and familiar voice blasted his eardrums and had to keep himself from charging like a raging Tauros. "You're LATE, rookies!" Loudred yelled at them both, but he was glaring at the Eevee.

Oak just sat on his haunches and lifted his head high. He wasn't going to give away his homicide plan too early. "And _you_ always look like you're ready to give a blow job, if you want to make a game of pointing out the obvious." Gary held a paw behind himself so Ash could high-five it while the other pokémon gasped. Loudred was gaping, speechless. The way it was meant to be.

Chatot ruffled his feathers, sending daggers at the purple pokémon. "Hush! Your voice is ridiculously loud!"

"Are you serious?" Loudred gestured overtly over at Gary. "Are you just going to ignore… _What?_"

Bird brain switched his gaze from a floundering loud-mouth to a smug researcher. Chatot seemed hesitant, but then he got over it. "And as for you, and your friend back there, I think it's safe to say that your language is atrocious! Despite Guildmaster's evaluation of it yesterday, I believe that you should refrain from using such diction!"

Gary grinned and leaned his head back some. "You hear that Ash? Polly wants a cracker over there wants us to 'refrain from using such diction'."

Ash scoffed. "Yeah, I heard! It's ridiculous. He must have been dropped on his head when he was a baby." _Like you were?_ Gary thought. "What do you think?"

The Eevee focused sent Chatot an impassive look and answered the Pikachu, but it was clearly for the flying-type. "I think we are going to do it anyway. Unless…you are going to _try_ to kick us out?"

Chatot gulped and shook his head. "It looks like it can't be helped!" He forced a chuckle out and then regarded the whole room, regaining his composure. "Everyone seems to be present. Very well. Let us conduct our morning address." The bird turned around and faced the door behind him. "Guildmaster! The guild is in full attendance!"

The wooden doors opened and Gary stifled a laugh. Was this guy really in charge of this place? The puffball was sleep walking, for fuck's sake! A snicker sounded behind him, and he guessed that Ash saw the same thing he did.

"Would you like to address the crew, Guildmaster?"

Then Wigglytuff snored.

Chatot sweatdropped and the former human pair found it harder to keep in their laughter. "Thank you sir! We all value your…words of wisdom! Ok, pokémon! Take our Guildmaster's words of wisdom to heart!" Gary snorted. What wisdom? He could find more wisdom in that bush over there. "Finally, let's not forget our morning cheers! All together now!"

The Eevee jumped a bit at the surge of voices all around. "A ONE, A TWO…A ONE-TW0-THREE!"

He glanced back at Ash, who was just as confused. "What in the hell is going on?"

"I wish I knew!" The mouse replied.

"ONE! DON'T SHIRK WORK!"

That bird brain had to be insane if he thought that Gary was going to join the others in saying this. He would rather be electrocuted again.

"TWO! RUN AWAY AND PAY!"

So…they were basically saying that one couldn't escape from here unless he/she wanted punishment. Very family friendly.

"THREE! SMILES GO FOR MILES!"

"OK, pokémon! Get to work!" Oh thank Arceus that it was over! It was almost as bad as Loudred's yelling! Almost. That fucker was still high on Gary's hit list.

The other apprentices yelled, hands in the air and everything, before dispersing. Gary and Ash just stood there watching them leave. "Um…What do we do now?" The latter asked while adjusting the bag on his back.

Oak gazed over to Chatot. "Only one way to find out." They went over to the flying-type who was still watching the others leave. "Yo, bird brain."

Chatot squawked. "Your level of delinquency is absurd!"

Gary rose a brow. "And what are you going to do about it?"

The other looked between the two confident pokémon before sighing. "Just follow me." With victorious smiles, they trailed after the bird when he left the room to go upstairs.

Eevee glared at the ladder in disdain. "I really hate this thing."

"Better get used to it!" Ash said before shoving him out the way and climbing. "And stop complaining you bitch!"

Gary gritted his teeth and had to resist biting that yellow tail in front of his face. Letting out a pugff of air, the brunette eventually made up to the next floor. He met with Ash standing in front of Chatot who was before a large billboard.

Having both of their attention, bird brain cleared his throat. "You're just beginners."

"Well…" Ash snickered and linked his hands behind his head. "It depends what you're talking about. I know I'm no beginner at-"

"Ash, you haven't won any league and you don't get any pussy." Gary focused on an uncomfortable Chatot. "Continue."

"Alright…" He turned around and pointed to the board. Ash punched him in the side and Gary hissed. Okay. Let the idiot do that again and the truce was off. "This is the Job Bulletin Board. Pokémon from various regions post-"

Pikachu crossed his arms. "We're not stupid here! They post jobs for us to do and we do them. Simple."

The flying-type glanced back. "Yes, but there are ba-"

Ash waved him off. "Whatever! Give us a fucking job already! I want to explore!"

"But I have to-"

"Can you hurry it up, Polly?" Gary yawned. "You're just wasting time."

Chatot huffed. "Fine! I'll get you one you two ungrateful…ugh!" The bird took a paper off the billboard and gave it to Ash. "I'm sure this will do."

"It better not be too easy!" The mouse began reading. "'Hello! My names is Spoink! An outlaw has run off with my most prized possession. My precious pearl! That pearl is life itself…to me! I just can't seem to settle down if that pearl isn't in its proper place on my heard!'"

Ash busted out laughing and Gary smacked him on the back of the head. "So immature. Finish reading!"

Pikachu wiped away a tear. "Okay okay!" He chuckled once more before continuing. "'But I've heard that my pearl has been sighted! It's said to be on a rocky bluff. But this bluff is reported to be extremely unsafe. I could never go somewhere so frightening!'" Ash blinked. "Man, what a bitch."

"I agree, and I think I get the gist of this." Gary turned to Chatot, wanting to get some fresh air and to get away from all these nutcases. "We get the guy's pearl. Can we go now?"

"I was expecting something more adventurous dammit!" Ash whined. "Can we get another one?"

"No, like I said, you two are beginners and need to learn the ropes in the field, since you won't let me teach them to you here."

Gary rolled his eyes. "Stop being such a baby Ashy. Let's go get this over with."

* * *

The two partners strolled up to the bluff's entrance, looking at all the mossy rocks and such.

"I wonder what would happen if we 'don't' find it."

Gary grinned. "And 'accidentally' cash it in? Hm…"

"A lot of money for us."

"That's true, but the Spoink would be upset."

They glanced at each other before shrugging.

"Oh well."


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own anything relating to pokémon.**

**A/N- I kept y'all waiting for nearly a year…forgive me?**

* * *

**Drenched Bluff**

**B1F**

* * *

Gary let out an explosive sigh when the pair began their journey up the very wet bluff. He frowned as he glanced around the area, seeing walls that didn't make any fucking sense. They were about to climb a _cliff_ for Arceus' sake. Why in the hell were there walls? Just make their lives harder? Yeah, that's probably it.

The Eevee wasn't even surprised when a wall _rose up from the ground_ from behind and trapped the two explorers' asses in. Was the Spoink's pearl even worth it? Probably not, but Gary was going to find and sell that shit just to see the disappointment on that pig's face. And to have more money, that was a plus as well.

"Look at all of this water!" Ash exclaimed, running over to the pools of clear liquid, bag jouncing against his back with every step, "I wonder how deep it is?" Gary was going to point out how much the Pikachu was a damned idiot – the place was named Drenched Fucking Bluff – but then a Lileep wandered into the 'room' they were in. It saw Gary first and charged straight for him.

The Eevee was all for the challenge, "I don't know! Try falling in to see Ashy-boy!" Gary called back over to the yellow mouse before sprinting over to tackle the obvious threat.

"Oh haha, and if I do, then you'd be the one trying to save your own ass from a murder char – Why are you running?" In the corner of his eye, Gary saw Ash turn around to watch him go for the Lileep, "Are you fucking kidding me? Aren't you supposed to be a researcher? That's a rock-type! And you call _me_ the dumbass?"

Gary slammed his head right into the pokémon's midsection, smirking smugly when it collapsed on the ground, unmoving. It didn't mean that his head didn't hurt like a bitch though, "And what were you saying, dumbass?" Eevee regarded Pikachu.

Ash was gaping. He even _looked _like an idiot. The hat-wearing pokémon then glared, adjusting his cap, "Did I ever tell you that I hate you?"

"So many times that it's become nothing but _more_ words coming from your mouth that I have to ignore."

"…You have to run out of comebacks sometime."

"Nah. My middle name is 'Witty'."

"No, it's 'Motherfucking'. Which is not something to be proud of. And it's even worse because she's dead_._ Necrophilia doesn't look good on _anyone's _resume."

Gary never wanted fingers so badly to flip the other pokémon off. However how mad he was on the outside, he was making a serious mental note, silently applauding Ash. He could use that quip on the next irritating-person-without-a-mother he would meet.

"Go suck a dick," the Eevee lamely retorted before trudging over to the next room, disregarding how Ash was laughing at how unoriginal and 'cliché' it was. He was ashamed of it too.

The former researcher, entering the new room first, blinked when he saw a couple of items. It looked like a pecha berry and something in a shady-ass bottle. "Hey Ashy," Gary glanced behind himself before he bobbled his head at the supplies, "Go fetch."

Ash flipped him the bird, and Eevee felt a pang of jealousy, "Hell no! I'm not some kind of dog! Get it yourself!"

Gary glared at the other before scoffing, heading over to the metallic stairs conveniently placed to the left of him, "Oh right, never mind. I forgot that you're the type of trainer to never use tact or strategy. No _wonder_ why you never won a league."

"You are such a dick! Yeah, we have a truce right now, but if you keep pushing me-!"

"What?" Gary peered over his shoulder, "What are you going to do?" he gazed past the angered Pikachu to see an Anorith creeping up behind the other, "Watch out, idiot."

"Watch out for wha – Ack!" Ash jumped to the side just as the rock-type went to scratch him. The mouse's red cheeked filled with static before the Pikachu let loose a thundershock. When the adversary went down, Ash crossed his arms and focused on the amused Gary, "You was going to let me die!"

"…No I wasn't."

"Yes you were!"

"I warned you didn't I?"

"But-"

"It wouldn't have been _my_ fault if you hadn't moved out of the way in time."

Ash fumed, but he didn't respond as he went to pick up the berry and the substance-in-a-bottle to put them in the bag. Gary grinned and traversed the stairs, whistling a little tune.

* * *

**B4F**

* * *

"Whoa…Gary when did you become a Dragonite?"

"What the hell…What did you eat out of the bag Ash?"

"I dunno…some kind of seed. OH ARCEUS! WHY ARE WE SURROUNDED BY LAVA?"

"…This is what you fucking get for eating random shit."

"I'M DROWNING IN THE LAVA GARY HELP ME!"

"I'm leaving."

"WHY DOES THIS LAVA TASTE LIKE SHIT WATER?"

* * *

**B7F**

* * *

"We made it!"

Gary couldn't be happier. From Ash tripping on some kind of drug (that he was going to have to get his hands on later) to fighting the _endless_ supply of annoying ass Chinglings, the Eevee was ready to go back and separate himself from anyone that would give him a headache. Which was pretty much everyone.

Black beady eyes lazily watched as Ash went over to retrieve the huge pearl that was by the large stone fountain. The Pikachu grabbed it with two hands – it was that big (that's what she said) – and wobbled back over to Gary, "It has to be Spoink's right?"

Eevee just gave the other a level stare that communicated how he thought Ash was dumber than any of the rocks surrounding them.

However Ash didn't understand, making Gary's left eye twitch, "I mean, it's the only one out here…"

"I swear I'm going to kill you one day and I better not be found guilty of it."

Pikachu snorted, "Yeah go ahead, then you'll have all eighty-thousand of my friends on your ass."

"Name _ten._"

"…"

"Exactly, let's head back."

* * *

As soon as the pair saw Chatot waiting for their return at the cross-section, the two pokémon groaned at seeing birdbrain there, "So much for cashing this baby in…" Ash groused under his breath, cradling the pearl.

The evolution pokémon pursed his lips, "You know, if we knock him out-"

"Gary!" Ash admonished.

"What?"

"Ah you two!" Chatot called out when he spotted them. He raised a wing to wave them over. The partners slowly strolled their way toward him. Gary was seriously thinking about taking the guy down. One well-aimed donkey kick would- "Nice to see that you made it back safely from your first mission!"

"Yeah yeah," Gary shooed away all of the false-cheerfulness, "Take us to the bitch so we can give him his shit back."

The bird puffed out his cheeks but held his tongue. He turned on his heel and walked back up to the guild, the bummed apprentices following him.

It wasn't long before they were all gathered in front of the bulletin board again, but this time the Spoink was there in person, giving Gary a migraine just trying to focus on the hyper thing.

"Th-Thank you!" Spoink squeaked, making Eevee cringe and Ash sigh beside him, "That pearl must be propped on my head, you see," Gary nudged the Pikachu hard when he started chuckling, "I missed it so much! I just couldn't settle down without it up there! So I was just boinging and sproinging everywhere! So that's why-"

"Man, is there a point to this?" Ash whined, "Seriously, no offense, but your voice is _atrocious._"

Atrocious? When did Ash have the time to study a dictionary?

"Atro-what?" Spoink's high-pitched voice cracked, "I was just going to say that's why I'm covered with dings and bumps."

"…And we fucking care why?"

Spoink cocked his head at Ash, "What did you-"

"He said it was a pleasure retrieving your precious pearl!" Chatot squawked, feathers ruffled from stress, "Now would you please reward them? I'm sure…they would love to go help others who are in need as quickly as possible."

The pig blinked, "Oh ok!" he bounced in front of Ash and handed him a bunch of shit that they were going to forget about before forking over a wad of money. The Pikachu counted it and Gary imagined all of the stuff he was going to buy with two thousand poké. His good mood dropped instantly. They were in a world ran by pokémon. What in the _hell_ was he going to buy that would be valuable? "Farewell!" the Spoink hopped out of sight.

"We're rich Gary!" Ash shouted with stars in his eyes.

"Uh huh. They have _all _the berries you can fucking buy around here."

"Well…done…" Chatot forced out and they could tell it was very painful. Birdbrain came closer, "Despite your rudeness, you've done your job," he then swiped the money and sorted it before giving _some_ back to Ash.

Pikachu was practically frothing at the mouth, "The hell Chatot? We worked hard for that money dammit!"

The bird's feathers got more ruffled as a vein pulsated on his forehead, "Most of the money from jobs goes to the Guildmaster, you see…" the _definition_ of a dick rider. Ashy was right, "And your team's share of the money comes out to that much there."

"Two hundred poké," Gary deadpanned. Yeah sure, he wasn't going to use the money anyway, but he could spot a scam a mile away, "A little skimpy, don't you think? I don't know if my lawyers would approve…"

Chatot glared at him, looking the slightest bit nervous, "Well that's the guild's rule!" he rushed out, "You simply have to accept it!" the bird shuffled anxiously in place, thinking, "You keep all of the money you find in the dungeons!"

Gary loved seeing him squirm, "Fine, but that rule may need some _changes._"

Chatot gave a twitchy smile, "I'll um…make sure the Guildmaster is aware of your complaints!"

Before the Eevee could boss the other around anymore, a chime rang from downstairs, "Everyone!" an unfamiliar voice met his ears, "Thanks for waiting! I finished making dinner! Come on! Dinner's on!"

Well damn. How long were they gone? It didn't seem that long…but then again, Ash had been hallucinating for a while.

The tension rolled off the bird's shoulders, "Ah dinnertime! It's time to meet your fellow apprentices properly. Even though I'm sure they know enough about you two…"

"I forgot all about food!" Ash commented as they trailed after Chatot to the lower floor, "What all do you have?"

"Various fruits and vegies!" the bird chirped once they all made it down the ladder.

"What, no meat?"

Chatot froze and Gary sat back and watched the show, "Meat? What do you mean, meat?"

"I dunno, like fish, beef, chicken-"

Birdbrain fluttered his wings in shock, "Now that's just…just inhumane! I don't know where you came from, but we don't practice canni – _that_ here! If you wish to, I am to going to kindly ask you to lea-" Gary cleared his throat and gave Chatot _the look. _The flying-type swallowed thickly, "We don't serve that here," he said to an immensely entertained Ash, "So please enjoy what we have to offer." He turned away and entered the dining hall.

"Man!" the Pikachu doubled over, laughing, "We can ride that lawyer thing the whole time we're here! We can practically run the place!"

"That's what I'm aiming for," Gary replied, highly satisfied, before strolling into the next room, seeing the large group of pokémon settling down in their seats. Wigglytuff was in the corner playing with an apple like the loon he was. Eevee saw that two plates on the far end of the table were left for them, so he gestured for Ash to follow as they made their way to them, ignoring the gazes on their backs. Actually, no, Pikachu waved cheekily as he saw them.

Just his luck, Gary was sitting beside the bane of his existence. No, not Ash (even though it was a great guess), it was that loud mouth, Loudred. Arceus he hated him, and he believed that the feeling was mutual from the sidelong glares he was receiving. Perfect.

Conversation slowly started up at the table – Gary and Ash were just listening as they ate their colorful foods – as time went on. It was somewhat peaceful, the others ignoring that the pair were even there. Well, it was until Pikachu poked his side. Gary glanced over and smirked when he saw the other palming a mushy peach. He gave a subtle nod and watched as the fruit went over his head before smashing itself on Loudred's, its juices streaming down his face.

The table went quiet.

The normal-type slowly turned toward the Eevee, "You WILL PAY FOR THAT!"

Gary winced, ears throbbing. He swore that he was going to fucking cut the other's vocal cords while he was sleeping or something, "Actually, it wasn't me," Eevee bit into his already peeled orange before spitting it into his neighbor's eye. He smiled hearing the pained screams, "_That_ was me."

Loudred then grabbed his whole bowl, "THAT'S IT!" and throw it at Gary, who expertly ducked.

Ash was hit in the face hard enough to bruise. The Pikachu growled, static forming in his cheeks, before grasping an apple and hurling it at Loudred, who ducked as well. The fruit hit Corphish right in the face.

"Hey! Hey!" the water-type shouted angrily as he began to rapid-fire his grapes. The room soon turned into a warzone.

Needless to say, the Pikachu and Eevee were the only losers.

Gary never thought how fucking hard it was to get mushed banana off the wall…

Without any damned _hands._

* * *

**Reviews are nice :3**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own anything relating to Pokémon.**

* * *

_Splash!_

"Gah! What the _fuck?!_" Gary was yanked out of the comfortable hold of sleep when a fucking _ocean_ of cold water was dumped on him. The Eevee immediately jumped to his feet, definitely wide awake now with freezing liquid puddling beneath him, and instantly found the bastard that he hated more than anything in the damned world.

Loudred was standing in front of him, smirking with an empty metal bucket in his hands. He boomed out a laugh that Gary want to get rid of. Preferably by strangulation. "Get your BUTT in GEAR!" The son of a bitch then turned on his heel and strolled out of the room, whistling all the while.

Gary was trembling, and it was not because he was freezing. No. He was downright _pissed._ He didn't give a fuck about witnesses or any of that other shit anymore. Loudred was dying today. The former researcher took off in a sprint with his teeth bared, "I hope you enjoyed your last day on earth! Because your ass is _dead meat!_"

The self-proclaimed alarm clock turned around and Gary inwardly laughed at how quickly that shit-eating grin morphed into an expression of someone whose life was flashing before their eyes. Oak couldn't blame him. If he saw a rabid Eevee that was out for blood chasing him, Gary would have hauled ass. But since he _was_ the blood-thirsty Eevee…he was enjoying every second of this.

Loudred started sprinting as well, throwing the bucket behind him only for Oak to dodge, "AHH! SOMEONE HELP ME! HE'S GONNA – GAK!" Eevee had pounced, them both crashing to the ground and rolling. They had gone a ways before they stopped, Gary snarling over a speechless Loudred.

The Eevee put his drenched paws wherever the fuck the pokémon's windpipe was and began to push. He chuckled when the other's breath hitched. Gary ducked his head down a bit and whispered, "Was that worth it, asshole? Was that worth losing your life huh? Was that worth never seeing your fat mother _again_?"

Loudred wheezed, "M-My mom isn't-"

"I don't give a shit!" Gary cut him off, still seething and soaking wet, "You're-"

"_Excuse me!_" A familiar voice squawked and the Eevee glanced up to see a flabbergasted Chatot staring at him and Loudred. The other recruits were looking on as well, surprised. Some of them were even frightened. Wigglytuff was too drowsy to even give a fuck. Birdbrain hastily fluttered over to the duo, relief spreading across the loud-mouth's face in response. Seeing this, Gary growled and pressed harder.

Chatot's feathers were ruffled as he twiddled with his wings, "What's the meaning of this?!"

"HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!" Loudred forced out.

The bird's eyes widened before he focused on an infuriated Gary, "W-Would you refrain from-"

"No!" Oak barked out, "He poured cold-ass water on me to wake me up!"

Chatot's whole body twitched, "Well, it _is_ his job to wake-"

Gary narrowed his eyes, "Say _one_ more word and my lawyer will have a field day."

The flying type gulped nervously before throwing Loudred a chastising glare, "I'm disappointed in you! Using such unorthodox methods is absurd!"

The normal-type gaped like a Magikarp as he flailed wildly, "HE ATTACKED ME AND IS _STILL_ TRYING TO KILL ME! Are you FREAKING _serious_ right now?_" _

Chatot gave the wet Eevee a hesitant look, "Um, could you please leave him alive? He is important with how our guild is run," Gary pressed down harder and the bird began to sweat, "I-It will be difficult to replace him!"

Oak glared for a moment until he eventually stepped off the bigger pokémon, ignoring the massive intakes of breath, "Since you asked so _nicely_," he shook his whole frame, spraying water on the other two, "I'll back off, this _one_ time," Gary trudged over to his spot, attempting to not noticeably shiver. He couldn't mess up his image.

Chatot forced out a chuckle as he returned to his spot as well; Loudred was still trying to replenish his body with much needed oxygen, "Now that's settled…I suppose we can start – Wait a minute. Gary, where is your delinqu – I mean, charming friend?"

Another voice answered for the former researcher, "…I'm over here…" Everyone's heads turned to the sound of the voice, seeing Ash stumble into the room, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Eevee whipped around and narrowed his eyes at Loudred, anger spiking again. The fucker didn't even hit Ash! He was just aiming for him! Despite what anyone said, Gary believed that the world would be a better place with Loudred hidden six feet under.

"Your voice is so loud Gary…it woke me up…" Ash yawned again as he got into place behind the Eevee.

Oak scoffed, "Sorry. I was too busy trying to kill loud-mouth over there to notice."

"What? You did that without telling me? I wanted to help!"

"What the _heck_ is wrong with you two?!" Loudred hoarsely shouted, "Chatot! They are a danger to us! Do _something _-_"_

"Now that everyone's here," Chatot started, completely disregarding the normal type as he fell back into the norm, "Let's begin our morning cheers!" When the crew, most of who were still reeling from what happened, didn't start, the bird cleared his throat, "Come on, all together now!"

Gary blocked out the hideous combination of voices, and simply muttered, "And three…smiles go for fucking miles…" at the end. This was torture. The precise definition actually.

When everyone dispersed – Gary glaring over at Loudred once more – Chatot called over to them, "Follow me, I have something else to show you today!" He then fluttered away and went up a floor.

"Might as well follow birdbrain," Gary mumbled as he ambled toward the ladder, frowning at the trail of water he left behind, even after he shook. That asshole should watch his back come dinnertime.

"So what did I miss?" Ash asked, walking beside him, "And…why are you wet?"

"That idiot dumped water on me to get me out of bed," Oak grumbled then smirked, "So, I retaliated by almost asphyxiating him."

"…the hell is that?"

"Choking, Ash. I was choking him."

"Oh! Why didn't you just say that before?"

Gary shrugged, "I just overestimated you. I won't do it again."

"Good!" A beat passed, and Ash deadpanned, "Gary Oak, you're the worst person I've ever met. Beating Giovanni, and he's the head of Arceus-damned Team Rocket!"

"Hmph, I try."

Upstairs, the trio were now standing at the right side of the large room, in front of another massive billboard, different from the one yesterday.

"Is this one have the same stuff as the one over there?" Ash asked brashly, crossing his arms, "Because fetching items for some bitch is not what I call an adventure."

Chatot just sighed before turning to the board with a defeated look on his face. Gary inwardly smiled; they were breaking him, "Take a closer look…"

The duo did so, scanning all of the papers there. Gary's mood brightened a little bit. They were dealing with criminals now, maybe this exploration team thing wasn't so bad. Kicking ass was something you couldn't just get bored of.

"Hell yeah!" Ash threw up a fist, "Catching outlaws actually sounds fun!"

The bird just nodded, "There are so many aggressive pokémon around these days that everyone's finding it hard to keep up with the problem."

"So the guild helps out with that," Gary pieced together.

"Right," Chatot stepped to the side and gestured to the board, "So, pick who your first outlaw would be."

Gary rolled his eyes when Ash nearly tripped over his own feet rushing over to the papers. Pikachu excitedly looked over them before ripping one off the wall and holding it up to Chatot, "This one! This one!"

The bird read over it and immediately shook his head, "No no no! This is one requires someone of more…experience to handle!"

Oak cocked his head, "Oh really? Are you _doubting _us, birdbrain?"

"No, not at all! It's just that…do you think you could apprehend a Steelix?"

Gary looked over himself before doing the same with Ash. Steelix was a steel and ground type…Yeah, the Eevee didn't want to die today.

"Are you stupid Ash? How exactly do you think we're going to fight a Steelix?"

"…With sheer willpower?"

Right, that was how Ashy fought most of his battles. He hadn't won a league yet. You'd think he'd learn something by now.

"Yeah, no."

Chatot replaced the paper, "How about I find you one to fit your level…" the bird tapped his chin as he searched. The duo waiting impatiently for a moment until Chatot turned back around with a apologetic smile on his face, "I could pick one out, but don't you suppose that you need to be prepared to confront a touch opponent…?"

"Can't we just pick one and leave?" Pikachu whined.

"After I have someone give you a tour of the facilities," birdbrain singsonged, ignoring the heated looks from the pair in front of him. He then turned toward the ladder and yelled out, "Hey Bidoof! Bidoof?!"

A fucking Bidoof? Really? Gary scowled, "Hey Polly, I think that we would learn a shit-ton more about the 'facilities' if we just walked around ourselves without that abomination of a pokémon showing us."

Pikachu nudged him, "Don't be so shallow Gary! Just because _most_ of the Bidoof you've seen are useless, it doesn't mean that all of them are..." Ash stared at him before bursting out laughing, "What am I even saying? They're all stupid!"

"Now that's _enough!_" Chatot yelled, not really affecting the snickering duo, "I will not have you talking about one of my recruits in such a way!"

Gary waved him off, "Whatever. Calm your tits. We won't, to his face that is," Ash's laugh got louder and Chatot began his retort, but he got interrupted.

"Yup yup!"

The electric mouse was rolling on the floor now and Oak shook his head in exasperation.

Bidoof eventually entered the room, panting. He gave the pair a wary look; he then focused on the bird, "Huff-puff-huff… You called?"

"Ah, Bidoof!" Chatot was trying hard to not send the others a warning glare, "These are the new recruits that just joined us. Take them and show them around the town."

The normal type forced a smile, "Yes sirree! By golly-"

"By golly!" Ash was choking on his chuckles by this point.

"Er…I'll do that! Yup yup!"

Birdbrain nodded before turning to the pair, "I want you to pay attention to what Bidoof has to say and follow his orders. Off you go!" He left the room more quickly than normal.

"Get up, idiot," Gary whacked the side of Ash's head, "Time to go."

"I'm s-sorry," Pikachu wiped away a tear, "It's just too funny!"

"Um…what's funny by golly?" Bidoof asked and the former trainer nearly exploded again.

Gary just sighed, on the inside however, he was no better than Ash, "Nothing. Let's get this show on the road."

"Alrighty then! Just uh…follow me!" The short pokémon began to walk to the ladder and he started climbing down.

The Eevee rose a brow, "Why the hell are you going down there? Aren't we supposed to be going to the town?"

Bidoof was nervous, "Y-You're right! Golly-" Ash snorted, "-I'm sorry. I'm not fully awake, it seems."

"Yeah, it seems," Gary unintentionally snapped back. He was just irritated about this whole situation.

"Can we hurry?" Ash inquired, over his bout of laughter, "The faster we go, the sooner we finish! Then we can catch any of those evil bastards!"

Bidoof looked uncomfortable at the Pikachu's words, and Gary found it entertaining, "S-Sure!" he then climbed up the ladder faster than Oak had seen before.

* * *

"And here we are! The main square of Treasure Town, yup yup! There's Duskull Bank…"

Gary and Ash looked around the lively place, seeing pokémon stroll about doing random things. There were stands scattered everywhere. But Gary didn't really care. He was just out here because birdbrain said that they had to. As soon as Idiot #2 stopped talking, he was going right back to the guild.

Bidoof fidgeted in his spot once he finished his spiel, avoiding eye contact with his company, "So that's Treasure Town, do you need any more explanation-"

"No, we're good," Gary rudely cut him off.

The giant toothed pokémon winced, "Okay…I'll give you a helping hand with selecting the right outlaw for you."

Gary was about to say something, but he held his tongue. He was sure that, 'Why are _you_ helping us pick an outlaw? Anyone of those pokémon would beat your ass five-times over,' would be going against not saying anything mean to his face.

"I'll be waiting at the guild's upper underground floor for you…" Bidoof gave a shaky smile before jogging off, leaving Team Damage.

Oak just huffed and began to follow the abomination until Ash grabbed his tail. He glared at the other, "What in the hell are you doing?"

Pikachu pointed to the Kecleon Market across the bridge, "Since we're here, let's go see what kind of shit they have! It might help us in the long-run!"

Gary yanked his tail out of the other's grasp, "Aren't you the one horny for adventure? Didn't you want to get back up there as soon as possible?"

Ash scratched the back of his head, "Well yeah, but what if they have something cool? Like meat or things like that?"

Oak stared blankly before going toward the market. Ashy-boy did have a point. Fruit was good, but Gary was a growing boy. He needed protein.

* * *

"This was a complete waste of our damn time."

"No it wasn't!" Ash juggled the items he had just bought, "We could use these!"

A blood vessel threatened to pop in Gary's forehead, "You wasted our money on stupid _rocks_ you fucking _moron!_"

"Actually, they're geo pebbles…" the green Kecleon said meekly from the other side of the counter.

"…they help deal damage in dungeons," the purple one said louder, but not much. Both of them looked appalled that the guild would even let the pair be apprentices.

"See! They help!" Ash exclaimed, beaming.

"Yeah, maybe they will when I knock you out later."

Pikachu swiftly put the rocks in the sack on his back, "Why would you do that, you dick?"

"So I can have a break from your idiocy."

"Misters Kecleon!"

All four of the pokémon turned to see two blue balls – Gary mentally snickered – with legs coming their way.

Both of the Kecleons smiled at the sight of the two, a complete 180 of how they were just acting, "Ah! Little Marill and Azurill!" the green one said, "Welcome, my young friends!"

Gary saw all kinds of wrong here. Why in the hell were these too kids, who one looked _maybe_ ten and the other nothing passed six, walking around by themselves? It would take no longer than a second to snatch those two up and then poof! There would be a documentary about it on TV.

"Hello. May I buy an Apple?" the Azurill meekly asked, and Ash began smiling too.

"They're adorable."

Oak glanced askance at him as he blocked out the transaction in front of them, "Do you not see anything wrong with this?"

Ash blinked, "What do you mean?"

"The kids! They're just wondering around! This place isn't the safest! _Outlaws_, remember?"

To his frustration, Pikachu just grinned, "You're just being paranoid Gary. I bet their mother is waiting just outside the town or something. And…do you have a _soft_ side Garebear? I never would've thought."

"Ash, if you call me that again, you can say goodbye to ever having kids."

The mouse's hands went to cover the threatened area as he took a step to the side, "Dully noted."

"Those brothers are so delightful," the duo, done with their conversation, paid attention to the one the two Kecleons were having. They had forgotten that the apprentices were there.

The green shopkeeper nodded solemnly, "I just wish that their mother would get better soon. Those boys are so sweet for doing the shopping for her."

Gary scoffed at Ash, "Waiting outside of the town, huh?"

"It was a good guess!"

"Wait," the purple Kecleon leaned over the counter, "Why are the brothers coming back?"

The guild duo followed his line of sight and indeed, the blue pokémon were running back. Fast too.

"Misters Kecleon!" they both panted, sweating a bit.

"What makes you return in such a rush?" the green reptilian-like shopkeeper questioned.

"There was an extra Apple!" Azurill shouted, and Gary resisted the urge to face-palm. Why in the hell would they come back? Kids these days…

"We didn't pay for this many…" the older brother continued.

The younger Kecleon smiled along with his sibling, "That, young friends, is a gift from me and my brother. Please enjoy," Okay, now them coming back was a _real_ waste of time and effort. Nothing was gained from that. If Gary was any less of a person (pokémon), he would have chucked the rocks they bought at both of the children's heads.

"Yay! Thank you, Mr. Kecleon and Mr. Kecleon!" Azurill cheers, doing a little dance. Marill thanks the elder brothers once again before gesturing for the smaller blue pokémon to follow. Azurill began to, but then he ate shit, falling to the ground, "Yowch!"

While Ash covered his mouth to somewhat hide his laughter, Gary watched the dropped apple roll towards him. He stopped it with his paw, biting his lip to prevent from being that type of jerk who found someone's suffering amusing. It was really hard.

Azurill eventually got back up and scrambled over in front of the Eevee. He dipped his head a bit, "W-We're sorry to bother you. Thank you very much."

"Yeah, whatever kid," Gary watched as the other used his tail to grab the red fruit, the appendage wrapping around the apple many times. The tip of Azurill's tail brushed against Oak's paw. A second passed before nausea hit Gary like a truck, him stumbling a bit to keep his balance. He sucked in a pained breath with the light began to hurt; he closed his throbbing eyes. _What…What in the hell is happening? Am I sick?_

* * *

"_H-h-h…HELP!"_

* * *

The Eevee snapped his eyes open as soon as he heard the yell, vaguely noticing that all of those symptoms had disappeared. He searched around for the being who sounded like they were about to be stabbed, but he couldn't find anyone. Then he noticed all of the confused eyes on him.

_No one else heard that? Did I…Did I just hallucinate? Without taking any drugs? Aw man, if I die, Gramps is gonna be pissed. _

"Is something the matter?" Azurill spoke up, and Gary's breath hitched, _It was his voice! But...it was fake? Am I going crazy? I always thought that Ash would be the one to go over the cuckoo's nest to be honest. _The Eevee just shook his head and watched as the little child ran away when his older brother called for him.

"Hey Gary, you okay?" Ash looked over him in concern, "Kinda lost you there," he smirked, "You didn't eat a weird seed like I did, did you?"

But Gary wasn't smiling, "Ash, be serious with me for a moment," Oak glanced up at the Pikachu, "Did you hear a shout for help a second ago?"

Ketchum stared at him for a good long moment before grabbing Eevee's neck fur and pulling, "Alright, it's time to go back to the guild. We're gonna be shit outta luck if you collapse out here because I won't be able to carry you all the way back up there."

Gary tore himself out of Ash's grasp, but stayed in step anyway. He should get checked out at the guild, if the place even _had_ an infirmary. If Loudred had put something in the water, Oak swore that the loud-mouth would have a horrible case of the runs after dinner.

After about a minute of the Eevee ignoring fleeting glances from the Pikachu, the silence was broken when Ash exclaimed, "Hey look! It's the brothers again!"

Gary followed where the other's finger was pointing and saw that his partner was right; the bros were still in town, talking to a new pokémon. The duo strolled closer and looked upon the scene. Oak got a better look at the stranger, obviously a Drowzee, and he didn't like the vibe he got from him.

Like a 'Don't go down that dark alley or you're gonna have a bad time' type of vibe.

"Yaaaay!/Thank you!" the blue brothers shouted out.

Drowzee gave a breathy chuckle that made uncomfortable shivers run down Gary's spine, "Please! It's nothing."

"Hey guys!" Before Eevee could stop him, Ash, being the idiot he was, went up to the trio while waving a hand, "What's going on?" Gary immediately followed, keeping his eyes on the psychic type.

Azurill was surprised to see them, "Oh hi!"

Marill was the one to actually answer the mouse's question, "Some time ago, we lost an item that's pretty important to us… We've been looking all over, but we haven't found it yet!" The eldest sibling smiled at Drowzee, "Then Mr. Drowzee came along, and he says he may have seen our lost item somewhere! He's offered to help us look for it."

"By yourselves? With him?" Gary asked sharply, cutting his gaze over to the yellow and brown pokémon. He didn't miss the slightly shocked and suspicious expression on the other's face. It lasted only a millisecond.

Marill nodded, "Our mom is sick, so she can't come. But we're still happy about this!"

"Awesome!" Ash beamed before turning to Drowzee. Gary couldn't believe how naïve he was, "Protect them out there, yeah?"

The psychic's lips twitched, "Don't worry, I will. I'd have to have a cold heart to take these kids out there only for them to get in trouble."

"Hm," Gary hummed, "You're right. You _would_ have one if you did that," Again, the Eevee was the only one to see the other's lips pull down at the edges.

Drowzee turned to the children, "Let us be on our way to begin our search!"

"Yup!" the brothers agreed in unison.

The trio began to leave, passing by Gary. The Drowzee bumped into him, and Oak scowled, having a gut feeling that it wasn't on accident, "Whoops," the psychic apologized, "Excuse me," then he walked off.

Gary really didn't like this, "Why do I believe that we just watched two kids jump into the back of a shitty white van?"

"Huh? Say that again? I wasn't listening," Ash commented as he waved at Azurill.

The Eevee huffed, "I _said – _urk…" Gary swayed when that same feeling from before ran him over again, possibly worse this time. He squeezed his eyes shut and didn't answer Ash when he asked what was happening.

* * *

_Drowzee and Azurill were both standing in a wide room whose floor was jagged and covered with rocks. Marill was nowhere to be found. _

"_If you keep being difficult," the psychic warned, his voice dropping lower, "it will mean big trouble for you!"_

_Tears were flowing down Azurill's eyes, "H-h-h…HELP!"_

* * *

When the dizzy spell was over, the Eevee was stuck with a choice. He had to believe in one of two things.

_One: That kid is about to get something that he __**really**__ doesn't want._

_Or two: That I am motherfucking crazy and need to be instantly institutionalized. _

Gary leaned more toward the first option. They needed to get to that kid _fast._ Two 'visions' like that in a row weren't coincidental, right? And he wasn't actually crazy, right?

Right.

* * *

**Reviews are nice :3**


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